Australia now requires anyone seeking a court order concerning children to first file a dispute resolution certificate with the court acknowledging that they have engaged in some type of dispute resolution. This is only necessary if the parties plan to invite the courts to make parenting determinations and other child related issues. Should you and your former partner be able to reach a settlement without seeking the court’s help, there is no requirement to attend dispute resolution.

The reason for this requirement is that Australia has a strong preference for families to reach amicable agreements without resorting to litigation. Generally, the outcome is better when parties are able to reach an agreement independent of the court’s involvement. Dispute resolution encourages early and full disclosure of relevant information, and allows parties to engage in a process that not only avoids legal action but also minimises cost.

What is a Dispute Resolution Certificate? And do I need one?

The certificate is simply a piece of paper that confirms that you and your former partner have attempted some type of family mediation with a registered family dispute resolution practitioner. It will state one of the following:

• The other party did not attend family dispute resolution;
• The parties attended and made a genuine effort to resolve the dispute;
• The parties attended but one or both of them did not make a genuine effort to resolve the dispute; or
• The practitioner decided that the case was not appropriate for family dispute resolution

You will need a certificate before you can apply to the court to litigate any child related procedures unless:

• The application is for consent orders
• There is a history of risk or family violence and/or child abuse;
• The application is urgent;
• It is impractical to attend family dispute resolution;
• The application alleges a contravention of a court order made within  the past 12 months;
• An application for a parenting order has been previously filed with the court; or
• Agreement has been reached.

If the above scenarios do not apply to your case, and you fail to file a certificate prior to seeking the court’s help in a child related proceeding, you could be forced to pay additional costs and/or be ordered to attend the required family dispute resolution.

Once provide to the court, the certificate becomes part of the file and is considered an official court document.

What is a Registered Family Dispute Practitioner?

Your dispute resolution certificate must be signed by a registered family dispute resolution provider in order to be valid. This person may also been known as a “family counsellor” or “dispute resolution practitioner.” An individual or organisation must be qualified through meeting certain standards of training, experience and suitability for inclusion on the Family Dispute Resolution Register.

A “family consultant” does not meet the necessary qualifications, however can still assist you through the process. These individuals are licensed psychologists and social workers who are contracted by the Family Court and assist and advise people involved in the proceedings, assist and advise the court, and also help the parties resolve disputes.

If you are looking for a registered family dispute practitioner you may access the register online at: fdregister.familyrelationships.gov.au/Search.aspx.

Bear in mind that not every legal practitioner or counsellor is qualified to act as a registered family dispute resolution practitioner. You may consult the above website or simply as your lawyer for a recommended family counsellor should you need dispute resolution services.

Prior to commencing the dispute resolution, the registered practitioner or counsellor must assess whether dispute resolution is appropriate in your particular case. The assessment will consider many factors, such as the history of family violence, safety of the parties, equality of bargaining power amongst the parties, emotional/psychological/physical health of the parties, and other relevant factors. Should the practitioner decide that dispute resolution is no appropriate in your situation, they will issue a certificate that says as much.

Do I need a lawyer?

It is very important to note that registered family dispute practitioners are not permitted to give any type of legal advice to the parties. These individuals are to be neutral and should only act to help the parties resolve their issues. Even if you chose a private practitioner who is in fact an lawyer, she may not administer legal advice to either party. These dispute resolution practitioners may discuss the legal process and the logistics of subsequent legal action, and they may provide you with contact information for Legal Aid or other lawyers, however they may not administer legal advice, which begs the question: Do I need an lawyer?

There is no “right” answer to this question. Each family’s circumstances are unique to their situation, so there is no universal answer to the question of whether you should employ an lawyer prior to attending dispute resolution. However, we recommend to most people that they obtain legal advice prior to the dispute resolution session. An lawyer can explain the process, the implications of the parenting decisions you make, and advise you with regard to your particular situation.

Additionally, the law allows parties to seek legal advice and attempt negotiations through lawyers before you dispute resolution session. You may address and settle all child related issues without having to attend dispute resolution – this is only a requirement if you plan to involve the courts.

What can I expect at dispute resolution? 

Dispute resolution can take several forms. If you hire a private practitioner to conduct your family dispute resolution, it may take place at a law firm, or other corporate location. However, if hiring an individual who is a private practitioner is beyond your financial reach, you can get access to dispute resolution services at Family Resource Centres or other community based organisations.

Family Relationship Centres (FRCs) are government sanctioned dispute resolution forums that encourage parents to focus on the needs of the children and reach a workable parenting arrangement. The ultimate goal of the FRC is the same as with other forms of dispute resolution – to reach an agreement without having to go to court. While FRC staff can’t provide legal advice they are trained to deal with relevant issues such as family violence and child abuse, and they can provide you with information about private practice lawyers as well as Legal Aid as well and other community legal centres.

Should you choose the FRC route, your experience may vary depending on the location you select. Each FRC is independently owned and operated and thus the intake process as well as the dispute resolution model can be different at each centre. However, the one aspect of all FRCs that is consistent at all locations is that your first three hours of services are free.

Once you have selected your family dispute resolution forum, you will be asked to sign an agreement confirming your understanding of the process. There will be a joint session, with opportunities to take a “time-out” and have one on one time with the practitioner. If your issues are not able to be resolved in your initial meeting, then you will have to schedule a subsequent session to make another attempt to resolve the issues.

Everything said during the dispute resolution process is strictly confidential, and is not admissible in open court or other proceedings, unless it relates to child abuse or the parties have consented.

Other Avenues of Dispute Resolution

Arbitration is a type of dispute resolution in which a trained professional evaluates the evidence and makes an independent determination regarding the dispute. This process is appealing to some because the parties are able to control the process by selecting the arbitrator as well as the method and timing of arbitration. More often than not, an arbitration hearing can occur significantly sooner than the courts would reach your case, and the process tends to be more private. A list of qualified arbitrators may be found at www. familylawsection.org.au.

Collaborative law is another option for dispute resolution, and allows for parties and lawyers to meet in four-way meetings. This process permits the parties to stay directly involved in the communication and negotiations. A major distinction with collaborative law is that the parties and lawyers agree in advance not to go to court.

In 2006 it became mandatory for all couples to attend family dispute resolution prior to filing an application with the court to determine custody. One of the aims of this legislation was to encourage parents to reach an agreement about parenting on their own terms, without the interference of the courts. After family dispute resolution is attempted, the practitioner involved in the process issues one of four types of certificates:

1. A person did not attend family dispute resolution with another party because of the other party’s refusal or failure to do so;
2. A person did not attend family dispute resolution because the practitioner considered that it would not be appropriate to conduct such resolution (having regard to matters prescribed by the regulations);
3. A person did attend family dispute resolution and all attendees made a genuine effort to resolve the issue or issues;
4. A person did attend family dispute resolution but that the person or another party did not make a genuine effort tot resolve the issue or issues

The court will consider these certificates prior to making a ruling in the case, and can also consider the certificates when assessing whether to order costs be paid by a party.

Does that mean that you absolutely have to attend family dispute resolution and get one of these certificates before you can file a custody action?

Not exactly.

While the legislators voiced a clear preference for settling child-related matters through family dispute resolution, they also recognised six classes of cases in which family dispute resolution should not be required.

1. Application for Consent Order Pending

If parties are applying for a consent order, then they have already reached an agreement on how to handle child-related issues. Therefore, ordering the parties to attend family dispute resolution prior to filing an application for the consent order would be futile.

2. Violence and Abuse

Where the court finds reasonable grounds exist that demonstrate that there has been abuse or family violence, or that a risk of such exists, no compulsory family dispute resolution is required. The court will not force parties to attempt to achieve a resolution to their child-related issues if there is any history or threat of violence.

3. Contravention of Previous Order

A party can make an application to the court regarding “particular” child related issue, without attending dispute resolution, if there is already an order in place addressing said issue. For instance, if there is already an order in place setting forth a custodial schedule for the child, and one party is not abiding by the order, the complying party may apply directly to the court to seek enforcement of the order. If there is already an order in place, there is no need to utilize dispute resolution services to try and reach an agreement.

4. Application is Urgent

Sometimes a parent will have to make an urgent application to the court about a child related issue. An example of this would be if a parent intended to relocate and take the child with them, in a situation like that the parties would need to have the issue addressed by the judge as soon as possible, spending time at family dispute resolution would simply slow the process down.

5. Incapacity

If a party lacks the capacity, physically or otherwise to attend family dispute resolution, the court will not enforce their attendance. For instance, if a party is unable to participate effectively because they live in another country, an application regarding a child related issue could be made directly to the court even if no family dispute resolution has taken place. The rationale for this exception is that compelling attendance would be largely inconvenient; a party could make sacrifices to travel and attend dispute resolution only to not reach an agreement and have to subsequently travel again for litigation.

6. Other Circumstances

The final exception category is a catchall. If there is another reason set forth in the regulations that would allow parties to bypass family dispute resolution, that reason will suffice and allow parties to bypass compulsory dispute resolution.

The bottom line is, unless your situation qualifies for one of these enumerated exceptions, you should be prepared to attend family dispute resolution prior to making an application to the court to determine custody or other child related issues.

The short answer is no – what is discussed in family dispute resolution may not be used against you in court.

First, what is said during this process is protected by rules regarding confidentiality. Statements that you offer to a family dispute resolution practitioner, or to your lawyer in front of a family dispute resolution practitioner are protected. Such a practitioner can only disclose statements made during a previous family dispute resolution session in a limited number of circumstances. For instance, if the practitioner reasonably believes disclosure is necessary to protect a child from harm, or to report or prevent damage to property they may disclose statements indicating such.

While rules of confidentiality are implicated, you should also know statements made in a family dispute resolution are also inadmissible in court proceedings. While there are a few narrow exceptions to this rule, you should be aware that statements made during a dispute resolution session are generally not admissible in court.

Arbitration is a form of dispute resolution where parties (or their lawyers) will present arguments to a chosen arbitrator who will make a determination to resolve the dispute. This type of dispute resolution is available to parties who are disputing financial matters, such as spousal support, property settlement, and financial agreements. Arbitration is not, however, an appropriate venue to settle disputes related to children.

Arbitration is almost like a hybrid of court proceedings and mediation. It is similar to mediation in that it is an out of court settlement method, however it differs from mediation in that in mediation the parties work to reach their own agreement. There are some advantages to choosing arbitration as a means to settle a financial dispute. For instance, this process allows the parties to retain much more control and it is more flexible than going to court. You get to choose the arbitrator, who is the ultimate decision maker, and it is also quicker and less expensive than the court process.

Arbitration can be especially appealing to those who have disputes about both children and financial matters. For these parties, they can address parenting issues through mandatory family dispute resolution and subsequently arbitrate their financial dispute without delay.

Yes. We encourage you to always seek legal advice prior to agreeing to dispute resolution. While dispute resolution is all about reaching an out-of-court agreement, you will still want someone to explain to you the dispute resolution process as well as what to expect if you have to litigate your issues.

An lawyer can explain your rights, review the facts of you case, and help you determine if dispute resolution is appropriate for your case. While dispute resolution is mandatory in some cases, in others it may not be the best course of action and an lawyer can advise you on such.

Finally, you will want to have an lawyer present at your dispute resolution. Having representation at a mediation or arbitration helps tremendously as your lawyer can advocate for you and advise you on the best way to proceed and whether you should agree to a proposed settlement.

Generally speaking, reaching a settlement is best the way to address problems associated with the breakdown of a marriage. When parties can agree on the terms of their separation through mediation or other means, the resulting agreement usually suits their needs better than if a judicial order.

When you have to litigate issues such as property division and custody in court, you rely on the judge to determine a fair solution, which can sometimes leave one or both parties feeling as though they lost, so to speak.

While settlement is highly encouraged, there are certain obstacles that can make reaching a fair settlement impossible. Awareness and acknowledgement of these hurdles is the first step in preventing them from ruining your attempts at negotiating a fair settlement.

1 – Consider Emotional Barriers

It is far too easy to let our emotions consume us when it comes to matters affecting the heart. The breakdown of a relationship can set you on an emotional roller coaster of highs and lows. You may experience feelings of guilt, hatred, anger, heartbreak, or any number of emotions. Emotions are the most common thing that frustrate settlement attempts. Here are a few tips you can use to make sure your emotional crisis won’t ruin your chance at reaching an amicable settlement.

Don’t rush into mediation. Often when parties realize that the marriage has failed they become eager to finalize the separation, move on, and start anew. Some people push their lawyers to get things done quickly because they are anxious to move on. This is not always the best course of action. Even if you think you are acting clearly and rationally, chances are your wounds are still fresh and your emotions are clouding your vision. If you show up at a mediation feeling angry, resentful, guilty, rejected, desolate, mistrustful, sad, nostalgic or any other number of emotions it can completely ruin your chances of reaching a settlement. Be sure to give your heart some time to heal before attempting mediation.

Seeking professional help in the way of counselling or therapy can also help. You may think that you don’t need any help, and that counselling isn’t for you. Perhaps you think counselling is only for couples trying to reconcile. There are many reasons you might rationalize not seeking help during this time. The bottom line is that counselling can help. These professionals can help you deal with your emotions, discuss how to help your children, and even help you make budgetary decisions as a newly single person. Often, people who do seek professional help obtain better legal results as well as emotional results.

2 – Recognize and Avoid “Stuck Spots”

Another common reason why people are unable to reach a settlement is because parties sometimes reach an impasse on a specific issue and are unable or unwilling to compromise. Often these stuck spots are not actually irreconcilable differences, but for whatever reason the parties cannot seem to move past them. The best way to avoid ruining a settlement this way is to be willing to compromise.

Approach your settlement with an open mind. Enter mediation prepared to make concessions and compromise. If you reach a stuck spot and your negotiations fail because you can’t agree on something relatively petty (like who gets the master bedroom furniture), then you are going to be forced to head to litigation. Litigation will take longer, cost more money, and you will be relying on a judge to make decisions for you.

Also as you approach settlement negotiations remember that you will not win every battle. You may think you should get the marital home, primary custody, child support, alimony, possession of the vehicles, and all the money in savings, but you simply will not win every battle. Be prepared to stand your ground on the important stuff but understand that you will not get everything you ask for.

3 – Identify any Imbalance of Power

Typically marriages do not end amicably, and more often than not, the reason for the breakdown of the marriage is complicated. Maybe someone cheated, or lied about assets, or you can’t agree on child rearing issues. The breakdown of a marriage can be contentious, and depending on the circumstances it can result in an imbalance of power.

If the imbalance of power is so great in your case, it is not an appropriate time to attempt mediation. When the imbalance of power is irreconcilable, the mediator may find it impossible to reason with the parties. This imbalance may disappear with the passage of time, but if not, the case may not be suited for mediation.

4 – Avoid Playing War Games

You clean out the bank account. Your spouse then takes your name off of the joint credit card. You respond by letting the power bill lapse. She then responds by not letting you see the children. It may start off innocent enough but war games frequently rear their ugly head when it comes to divorce proceedings. Otherwise rational people get so consumed by their emotions that they act in a totally irrational manner.

There is only one way to work around this obstacle. Call a truce. These malicious games accomplish nothing. If one or both parties enter mediation furious over these games, nothing will be accomplished.

Before you attempt settlement negotiations, familiarize yourself with common impediments and work hard to remove them from your situation. Often this is easier said than done, but ultimately you will be much happier with a fairly negotiated settlement that you both agree to than having a judge decide how to settle your issues.

Some divorces are ugly – both parties will “lawyer up” quickly, choosing lawyers known for achieving certain results. These divorces usually involve allegations of adultery, contentious custody battles, or high dollar property settlements. When there is a lot at stake, the claws come out.

Other divorces are more amicable. Sometimes couples simply fall out of love, recognize that it is time to move on, and can reach an agreement fairly easily regarding their divorce related issues.

Most divorces fall somewhere in between these two extremes.

For couples that lean more towards the second scenario, collaborative divorce might be something to consider.

What is Collaborative Divorce?

Collaborative law utilizes a non-adversarial approach to settling differences and resolving disputes. The parties, lawyers, and other professionals involved in the process all enter into a formal agreement to focus on reaching a settlement without resorting to litigation.

In collaborative law, if successful, parties can expect to never see the inside of a courtroom. All negotiations and exchange of information will take place in meetings where both parties, as well as their lawyers, are in attendance.

Different from Traditional Divorce

One core value of collaborative law is to allow the parties to feel as though they are a part of the process. For many who chose traditional lawyer-based negotiations, they feel disenfranchised, like the lawyers are in control and they are simply along for the ride. Collaborative law aims to help the parties feel as though they are actually involved in working through the problems and reaching a solution.

Another core value of collaborative law is to achieve a solution that allows the parties to have a productive post-separation relationship. Simply by opting for the collaborative law process over traditional divorce proceedings, the nature of the negotiations changes dramatically. Parties tend to be more amicable, and they agree to avoid “game playing” like withholding child support or spousal support.

What is in a collaborative contract?

If you opt to resolve your issues through collaborative law, you will need to sign a collaborative contract. Most importantly, the contract will rule out immediate litigation through the “disqualification clause.” This clause expressly prohibits a party from commencing litigation during the collaborative process, and it also prohibits a party from threatening such.

Another aspect of the disqualification clause is that it bans the lawyers involved in the collaborative process from being involved in any subsequent litigation should the collaborative process fail. If the parties are unable to reach a settlement and ultimately do litigate their issues, they must retain new counsel.

Beyond the disqualification clause, the contract will set forth other rules and consequences. For instance the contract will require both parties to give full and honest disclosure of all relevant information and will outline what is to take place in the event of a breach. A contract also may request parties act in good faith, focus on the well-being of themselves and their children, and also require the parties to contribute to developing mutually beneficial options.

The Process: 4-Way Meetings

In collaborative law, parties negotiate and discuss settlement options in a neutral setting through a series of face-to-face discussions. This is a stark contrast from traditional lawyer-based negotiations where the parties have limited contact and rarely see each other. In a traditional mediation, the parties might never even lay eyes on each other throughout the whole mediation. In collaborative law, however, they parties will be face-to-face.

These meetings are called “4-way” meetings because both parties are present, as well as their respective lawyers. These meetings are characterized by direct communication amongst the lawyers and the parties – this is not a situation where a lawyer will speak on behalf of the client. All four people are actively engaged in open dialogue about the issues to be resolved.

While the lawyers will undoubtedly meet with the parties in advance and prepare for the meeting, the majority of the work necessary to resolve the dispute takes place at the meeting and requires direct input by the parties.

Other professionals may also be involved in the 4-way meeting. It is not uncommon for a psychologist, child specialist, financial expert or other professional to be involved. These meetings are tailored to reflect the needs of the parties and will involve professionals whose opinion can have an impact on achieving the best possible solution.

The Approach: Interest-Based Negotiations

Even the way the parties negotiate at a 4-way meeting is different than in traditional lawyer-based negotiations. Collaborative law places an emphasis on something called “interest-based negotiations.” This refers to the concept that the parties are to focus on their needs and interests rather than their positions and grievances.

Rather than approach the 4-way meeting with a mindset to discuss what has happened in the past, the focus is more on the future.  This helps the parties to look past incidental or ancillary problems and it encourages realistic expectations.

Interest-based negotiations also encourage creative solutions. If parties were to litigate custody issues a judge would come up with a very black and white custody schedule. If you settle custody issues through collaborative law, the possibilities are endless. You can work out a schedule that is atypical and meets your needs better.

Is Collaborative Law For Me?

If you are the type of person who says “we are only going to hire lawyers if we can’t work it out and it gets really ugly” then the collaborative route is probably for you. If you tend to have a more amicable relationship with your former spouse, collaborative law could work for you.

It’s hard to say right away whether it will work for any given couple, but if you aren’t dealing with a particularly ugly divorce characterized by emotional issues, contentious custody battles, or major disagreements over divorce related issues then you could be a prime candidate for collaborative law.

When you attend mediation, the mediator is the person who runs the show, so to speak. The mediator works with both sides in helping the parties come to an agreement. But just because the mediator is driving the settlement negotiations, your lawyer still has an important role.

Prepare

First, your lawyer will need to prepare for mediation. This entails meeting with you to discuss the process, preparing a file with all important and necessary documents to bring to the mediation, and exchanging documents with the opposing party. Even though the lawyer is not the one who will lead the negotiations, the lawyer still must come to the mediation prepared to advocate on your behalf.

Advocate

Your lawyer will need to be your advocate at mediation. Your lawyer will help you explain your case to the mediator, and will make sure that your wishes are being clearly expressed to the mediator. If you forget to tell the mediator a pertinent fact or detail, your lawyer will be sure to make sure that said detail is mentioned.

Advise

Your lawyer will be your advisor at mediation. While a mediator can tell you how the law works, and can suggest a certain path, you will still want your lawyer present to advise you on whether a proposed agreement is in your best interest. If it seems like the parties are too far apart with regard to reaching an agreement, your lawyer may advise that the mediation cease.

So while the parties and the mediator are front and center, so to speak, at mediation, your lawyer also has a significant role as well.

Vlog Transcript

Hi, I’m Vanessa Mathews from Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists, and today we’ll be discussing mediation.

Many couples facing the end of their marriage feel confused about how to resolve the many issues that come up. Well-meaning friends and relatives might recommend running to an aggressive lawyer who can help you battle out in court, but I want to use this video to tell you about different ways of solving your problems that can help everyone to feel that they were treated fairly and with respect.

You and your spouse have the ability to choose how you will go about reaching an agreement. Despite what you may have heard from sensational articles in the media or even through friends, most family disagreements in Australia end with a settlement. This means that most couples do not go to court to work out child custody issues, property division, or maintenance. They sit down together, sometimes with the help of professionals, and work through the problem.

Mediation is an alternative approach to resolving disagreements between couples. In Australia, it’s frequently used for figuring out property issues, and it’s also used for parenting disputes. Rather than going to court and have a judge determine how best to solve your problems, mediation allows you to control the process and the outcome.

So how does mediation work? A third neutral and objective person serves as a mediator whose role is to facilitate communication between you and your spouse to help you reach an agreement that you’re both comfortable with. The mediator helps you figure out what your interests are, what your actual needs are, and what is fair to everyone.

There are many benefits to mediation. One is that you’re involved in the process and the final decision. If you don’t like the way the process is going, you can say so and even leave the mediation. You’re in control. No judge makes a final ruling for you that you might not like. You have the right to accept or reject any agreement. Another benefit of mediation is that it gives you a lot of flexibility.

Together with the mediator and your partner, you set up times for meetings. This means you don’t have to miss work or find babysitters, or be controlled by court dates. The settings for mediation is also much more comfortable: usually in the mediator’s office and definitely not in a courtroom. Mediation is usually much shorter than going to court, limiting the time to weeks or just a few months.

When it comes to parenting issues, family dispute resolution, or FDR, is a very good option. This is a type of mediation that’s required by the courts when parents can’t come to an agreement on their own. These mediators are trained in the area of family disputes, and they usually have a background in law, social work, or psychology. They help couples figure out what’s best for their children. If you and your partner can work out a parenting plan on your own, that’s great. If you can’t, and you need to go to court to get a judge to decide, you first have to attend FDR and show the court you’ve both a good effort to resolve your problems.

I often recommend to clients to get legal advice when you’re in mediation, and I would recommend that you do have a lawyer. The lawyer’s role is to make sure you know your legal rights and obligations, and to help you understand the legal consequences of the decisions that you make in the mediation.

Sometimes lawyers actually attend the mediation sessions if both sides agree. It’s helpful to have a lawyer in mediation because sometimes there is a power imbalance between you and your spouse where one is stronger, or louder, or takes advantage of the other. Having a lawyer there can help balance the sides. But even if you don’t have a lawyer with you, you have the right to call your lawyer, or anyone else, to ask questions. Mediation agreements reached without each of you understanding your legal rights can result in failed negotiations or even broken agreements.

If you have more questions about mediation or family dispute resolution, or want to learn more about them, you can take a look at our other videos and at our website, or feel free to call me. I’m Vanessa Mathews at Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists.

Welcome to Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists. We’re here to assist you with your family law matter. I’m Vanessa Mathews, and I’m an accredited Family Law Specialist and Mediator.

I established Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists in 2007, with a commitment to providing our clients with a high level of family law advice and personal service. At Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists, we cover all of the issues that commonly arise when our clients separate and divorce. We’re experts in negotiating parenting arrangements and the division of assets.

If you’re starting a new relationship whether married or de facto, we can assist you with a prenuptial agreement. We also advise on the full range of family law matters, whether it be relocation, maintenance or superannuation splitting.

For most of our clients, we’re able to achieve a resolution through negotiation and mediation. For some of our clients, it only is a last resort, litigation may be necessary.

Separation and divorce is always difficult. At Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists, we can assist you to navigate your way through this time. If you have any questions about your family law matter, please don’t hesitate to contact us.

Our website contains lots of information about family law in Australia. We’ve also prepared a family law eBook with you, our client, in mind. Simply click on the eBook icon to download.

Choosing a family lawyer is a very important decision. I’m confident that Byron Bay Family Law & Mediation Specialists is the right choice for you.

Often family violence and the breakdown of a relationship go hand in hand. This connection manifests in one of two ways; either the violence was the reason for the relationship breakdown, or the violence starts happening as a result of the relationship breakdown. While violence is always devastating for the victim, bear in mind that it can also have an impact on your children.

Children can be exposed to violence several ways. They can witness violence happening between their parents, they can actually be the victims of violence, and they can hear the violence occurring. Sometimes children are involved indirectly, for instance in situations where the violence occurs while the child is being held by the victim.

Psychologists have found that children who are exposed to family violence frequently display the same symptoms as children who have been abused or neglected. Essentially, the negative consequences of exposing children to any degree of family violence are undeniable. This behaviour can hinder a child’s emotional development, and there are also cognitive and social ramifications as well. Studies have further shown that the longer the violence lasts, and the more sever the conflict, the more critical the impact will be on the child.

Some signs that a child could be suffering from the negative effects of family violence have been identified as follows:

• Fear and terror from witnessing or being directly involved in the abuse
• Problems with relationships (including parents and siblings) which can carry on to adulthood
• Lack of motivation at school
• Social withdrawal
• Aggression towards peers
• Low self-esteem
• Alcohol and drug abuse problems
• Suicide attempts

Another major way in which family violence impacts the child is the extent to which the mothers’ caregiving abilities have been limited as the result of being the victim of violence. Often domestic violence can reverberate around a family, causing the otherwise non-abusive parent to abuse the children, or causing children to abuse each other. Abuse is cyclical, the effects of which can truly be devastating.

So what can you do if you fear your child is being affected by violence at home? Often victims are so emotionally and physically fatigued that they are unable to help themselves, let alone give their children the attention they need. However, it is important to recognise that while your child may not be the direct victim of violence, they can still be harmed by it, and there are steps you can take to mitigate the harm suffered by the child.

1. Remove the child (and yourself) from the violent situation. This is often easier said than done, but the sooner you can remove yourself and your child from the violence, the less severe the long-term impact will be.
2. Seek help. If you are the victim of domestic violence, you and your child will need to seek help in the form of protection, as well as therapy. Even if you think you have shielded your child from the family violence, chances are they have been affected in some way.
3. Get back to a normal routine. The sooner your child has settled back into a normal routine, the quicker the recovery process can begin. Make sure the child continues to attend school, participate in extra-curricular activities, and have outings with friends.
4. Surround the child with family and friends. Family violence often results in children feeling isolated and lonely, and withdrawing from social interactions. If you put your child in an environment where he or she is frequently around loved ones, this since of loneliness can be mitigated and the child may be less inclined to withdraw socially.